A little bit ragged

Too tired to practice singing
Too manic to cook, or more exactly so manic that I cooked two things wrong instead of cooking one thing wrong
Then tried to calm down, then ate two much of one the things I cooked wrong
Then cleaned
Then thought about drinking whiskey
Then sang Pete Seger
Then cried

The throat vibrates with melody
moving from Pete to Bono and back
my stomach feels too full
i am getting a little obsessive about what I eat
keep thinking I should be losing weight
keep seeing my stomach as huge and unsightly
but the vibrating make it better
rock myself a lullaby while I wake
hush little crazy don't you cry
someone's gonna save you from the falling sky

disconnected ... my small nest with the big TV
haven't read anything substantial for a few months
scraps of news ...
two minutes of television ...
a page of 30 year old humor is enough

constant adolescent daydreaming
everything is always a few months from now
what motivation can be found
even cooking has become a chore
use the food before it goes bad
try to make something that makes me feel good about myself
don't waste
but that locks me into the two rooms
maybe it is time to go more again
worried about bread
do I have enough for breakfast, will it still be fresh
what bullshit
the winter night coming on
the depressing short days bitter wet chill